Do you find Joy in Tribulation?

 

On May 21st of 2022 I had an encounter with God. For four days leading up to that date I had a lesson presented to me from the Holy Ghost. I had been dealing with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, feelings, and ideations for 5 years or so prior to this date. At times it was overwhelming and I truly felt like I was going crazy. I even planned on ending my life a couple times. That time period was very dark to me but there was always a glimmer of Light in the distance that would catch my eye and keep me going. The Hand of God protected me many times and this was another of many such instances. On day 1 of those four days leading to my encounter I was asked by God why I would always complain and whine whenever I was tested and tried. My answer was simple and honest, because those trials and tribulations are painful and difficult and they generally suck. I tend to not enjoy them very much as you might have guessed in my answer. God took me to scripture and told me to change. 

James 1:2-3 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

Well, I definitely was not counting it as joy when I was tested! I repented to God for not dealing with my tests well, and I apologized again for not recognizing that my trials and tribulations were necessary for the literal answers to my prayer of "Make me a better Christian!" How could I expect to gain strength without resistance? Repentance means to recognize my own fault against God, apologize to Him and then move on in the right direction... Ideally, never looking back! 

Who are you when you are tested, when your weaknesses are exposed, when you are pulled to spiritual places and hear a thousand tempting but ungodly directions to walk. When your greatest sins are calling and seem to be the only place you can find peace. Plug in to Jesus, let Him baptize you with the Spirit of God, find wisdom and patience, and whatever else He wants to show you. Walk in it, find your cross, carry it, and die well.

And just for the sake of the two or three of you the read this blog, on May 21, the Spirit of God came to me and took 100% of that Depression, Anxiety, and the associated demonic suicidal stuff off of me. Ill talk about the three other days of lessons later... God is good... Really really good!